The Most Annoying (and Common) Errors of the English Language

People make mistakes. Some people make them more than others. The problem with making mistakes while speaking is that you sound less intelligent - automatically. I'm not talking about accents, some of which indeed do ridiculous things to pronunciation. I'm speaking of things like "ascared" and "supposably" and "pascetti".

Some may make the argument that I'm "not the grammar police". Fair enough. As far as I know, there are no grammar police. If you don't agree with my list, feel free to comment. The way I see it, there's very rarely more than one way to say any given word correctly. The purpose of verbal communication is to make other people hear and understand the information you wish to convey. Therefore, if one wishes to be understood, then one should accept that there is no opinion on the matter. There's a right way and there's a wrong way and that way, if everyone speaks correctly, everyone will understand each other.

Some may make the argument that certain cultures have developed their own slant on the language and that I'm being prejudiced. No, I'm not. Again, this list only applies to the notion of speaking so that others understand you. If you want to make up new ways of speaking the language, you're not going to grammar jail for doing it. You're just going to find that people don't understand you as much as you'd probably like them to.

Anyway, feel free to comment about whatever.

Cheers.

don't use...	...when what you mean is...	… because...
aks	ask	How exactly did a typo in an early 1990s chat room become such a plague on the English language?
anxious	eager	Eager means you're looking forward to something. Anxious is the opposite of eager.
anymore	nowadays	Nowadays, there's no excuse for this. I hope you're not going to misuse “anymore” anymore.
anythink	anything	Anything is like “something” - a compound word, made up of Any and Thing. Anythink therefore, obviously makes no sense.
ascared	scared	There's afraid, or there's scared. No such word as “ascared”. Read more and you'll not see that word written anywhere.
asterick	asterix	The “s” sound at the end is not indicating plurality. People saying “asterick” have clearly never seen it written.
Aw-ite	alright	If you don't care about the words enough to actually move your mouth a bit, then why should I listen or care?
borrow off	borrow from	Mr. Borrowoff was in the Russian mafia. It was unwise to borrow from him.
chase lounge	chaise longue	Say it like SHAYZ LONG, with a bit of a hard g at the end. i.e. it's “a long chair” not “a chase around the lounge” :)
coincidential	coincidental	I had problems with saying this one. It still slips out once in a while.
congradulations	congratulations	This error is probably a result of people's assumption that the word originates out of “graduate”. It doesn't.
conversate	converse	Adding extra syllables is a technique often employed by those who want to fake intelligence they don't possess.
could care less	could not care less	One means you still care a little. The other means you don't care at all. Which statement do you wish to convey?
cumptable	comfortable	When speaking quickly, it may be forgivable to say “comfterble”, but “cumptable” is really pushing it.
curve	curb	A curve is a descriptor of something. You cannot kick anything to the angle. A curb may have a curve, but never is one.
duck tape	duct tape	*unless you're specifically saying the brand name, which incidentally is making fun of the common mispronunciation.
excetera	et cetera	Hence the abbreviation “etc” as opposed to “exc”.
for true	truthfully	Shouldn't really say “for real” either, but it's commonly accepted vernacular, though improper.
female	woman	Trust me, your wife prefers to be called a woman (and therefore human) rather than a non-qualified “female”.
jamp	jumped	Note that “lamp” is not the past tense of “limp” either.
in route	en route	It's french. Would you say “Deejah View” or deja vu?
innit	isn't it	If you don't care about the words enough to actually move your mouth a bit, then why should I listen or care?
instinctual	instinctive
ironic	coincidental	It's not ironic that a man who's afraid to fly died in a car crash, unless it was a falling plane that caused that car crash.
irregardless	regardless	A double negative that doesn't exist in the first place.
just assume	just as soon	I'd just as soon stick pencils into my ear canals as listen to people who don't read enough to ever see words spelled out.
laxadaisical	lackadaisical	Lax? What, like you're so lazy you could shit where you stand or something?
liberry	library	What are you, a two-year-old? Jeesh.
literally	actually	I actually might literally harm the next person I hear use these improperly.
midrift	midriff	Some say certain words as though the word should include the same sounds as other words. Drift is a word, but isn't related to midriff.
might could	“might” or “could”	pick one.
my bad	my mistake	*unless you're joking. If you aren't joking when you say “my bad” then you're an idiot.
nawmeh?	know what I mean?	Unless you're mentally disabled or learned english by reading lips only, you have no reason to slur words in this manner.
nucular	nuclear	Be afraid when the finger on the button belongs to someone who can't pronounce what the button does.
of	have	This error stems from children mishearing the contraction for “have” which is “-'ve”. Speak clearly, people.
on accident	by accident	Yes, it matters. Try saying “by purpose” – sounds wrong, right? That's because it is.
opposed	supposed	Opposed means taking an opposite position to someone/thing. Supposed means that something is intended.
orientate	orient	*unless you're British, orientate is not a real word. Are you British?
ostensively	ostensibly
Over-exaggerated	exaggerated	*there's no super-exaggerated, uber-exaggerated or mega-exaggerated either.
pascetti	spaghetti	If you're not a toddler, you have no excuse for this mispronunciation.
penultimate	ultimate	Nothing improves on the ultimate. Penultimate doesn't mean “super ultimate.” It means “next-to-last”.
seen	saw	Things get seen. It's people who “saw” it. When an exciting thing has been seen, one may wish to speak of what they saw.
speeshies	species	When a c is followed by a vowel, it's soft (pronounced like an s). Think fleecy, panacea or feces.
supposably	supposedly	“Supposably” or “supposingly” or “supposively” aren't written anywhere... you need to read more and say less.
supposingly
supposively
tennative	tentative	People who speak too quickly for their own good, sound like they're dropping the 2nd T. Speak clearly to help those who don't take the time to read words.
tooken	took or taken
whose ever	whoever's